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He seemed to put all his dating issues and weight on them. Maybe check your priorities, standards, what you’re drawing into your life. Maybe he needs to drop some of his ‘I’m so awesome’ attitude and act like Black women know that Black people can speak other languages – including Russian. But he definitely needs to shift his dating burden off the women and onto himself.

And besides all of that, I found it pretty hard to believe that a man who writes well (and I’m assuming speaks well), is fluent in multiple languages, is gainfully employed, and is relatively attractive is not only single (hasn’t had a girlfriend since 1998. This might be your red flag of all red flags), but also has a hard time getting a woman. That’s what single women typically get told, right? Maybe he should focus on his shortcomings or what he perceives women view as his shortcomings and accentuate the positive.

I wish Starr had gone more in the direction of exploring his own issues instead of blaming women—and reaching far to do so.

In addition to his own insecurity about his finances, Starr relies on the go-to argument for why he’s single: by blaming black women’s professional success.

As intellectually fruitful as my 20s were, my worldly and academic sojourns did little for my bank account.

All my education and travel were fully paid with scholarships, so I guess that means something.

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titled, “Well-Traveled, Intelligent Black Man, 34, Seeks ‘Sista’ OK With Him Making Less Money” written by Terrell Jermaine Starr.

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When the bill arrives and he looks at it, he lets out a silent gasp. By going to the ATM, he means borrowing money from his friend(s). […] Just from Starr’s essay, it sounds as though one of the compelling reasons he is single—in addition to his insecurity, which is the prominent reason—is that he is limiting his dating prospects to outliers, all of whom he perceives as finding him undesirable. And even though I make nothing close to six figures (one day sweet baby Jesus!That’s simply not the case for every high-earning woman. ), I didn’t appreciate the characterization of Black women in this income bracket.You start to think that maybe you should have ordered for plain chips or not eaten at all. But how do you bring it up without hurting his ego? You conclude that since he pleaded with you to eat, he must have enough money to pay.Maybe he had enough money to pay even during the first date but you misread his body language and misunderstood his joke.

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