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“Beautiful women who get a fair amount of attention get full of themselves,” Dan smugged smugly to his interviewer. After swearing off supermodels, he’s managed to find love with Carly Spindel – a woman described by the Post as “merely beautiful”. Tucked away in the middle of the article is the following quote from her: “When men see beautiful women, they are more concentrated on how she looks because they want to ‘have’ her, and so they don’t want to go deeper and get to know her.

“Eventually, I was dreading getting dinner with them because they couldn’t carry a conversation.” Once again, I’d like to remind you all that Dan, the person calling these 20-year-old supermodels full of themselves, is an incredibly average-looking man who thinks that he can date anyone he wants. And that’s why at the end of a date they wonder, ‘Oh that girl is so beautiful but so empty.’ That’s happened to me often.” But if what Giardini is saying is true, that’d mean that Dan’s assertions about how vapid and selfish pretty women are isn’t true at all, and actually it’s just that he’s so focused on his dick that he hasn’t bothered to pay any attention to what the person in front of him is saying – almost like he doesn’t see them as people at all, just pretty things to put on his arm. Not for someone as rich, muscular and – let’s not forget – hairy as Dan.

There are even dating services now to cater for the demand for tech geeks, like Linx, the boutique Silicon Valley social network which boasts 'technology influencer VIP customers' who are all "college educated non-smokers", and need to complete interviews and homework as part of the vetting process.

Agency founder Amy Andersen claims that tech founders make for, "fabulous partners" but warns you'll need to "bring your A game" if you want to marry one.

It came after the New York Post published an article titled “Why I won’t date hot women anymore”.

It was as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

And if someone as vacuous as Dan found them vapid and selfish, you know there must have been a problem. Thankfully, there’s a happy ending to Dan’s sad tale. Dan really is the Goldilocks of dating: uggos like me wouldn’t get a look-in, supermodels are too vapid to be taken seriously, being merely beautiful is just right. But every fairytale needs a witch to spoil the day and the New York Post has one in the form of model Isabell Giardini. Hope there’s no simmering resentment there for the rest of your marriage, or anything.

In the 1980s, she “dated” Mike Tyson for a spell, and in the late 90s and early 2000s, she dated Italian F1 team manager Flavio Briatore…who also dated a certain German supermodel who has yet to appear on this list. Since finishing second on that show, she’s been working steadily as a model. And in case you were wondering, yes, Peter Crouch knows exactly how lucky he is.

Someone once asked him what he would be if he wasn’t a soccer player, to which Crouch replied, “a virgin! she was a virgin back in 2006, or we know why the relationship with The Captain didn’t last long.) Eventually, however, Lima married Serbian basketball player Marko Jaric, formerly of the Clippers, T-Wolves, and Grizzlies. And in any case, aren’t you glad I found an excuse to bring you this photo?

The supermodel is the holy grail of masculine lust.

Unfortunately for most of us, if we want to avoid ending up alone, we can’t really wait around for a Belgian supermodel to walk into our neighborhood Starbucks.




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