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“Sometimes we are our own worst enemies in that when our hopes and fantasies clash with reality, we tend to over-focus on the fantasy and make excuses for or rationalize the reality,” she explains. I’d advise the same degree of self-awareness that I’d suggest to women in order to avoid the mess that can ensue as a result.” If your Spidey Sense tells you something’s amiss—say she’s 10 years older than she led you to believe, swapped out her pic for someone else’s on her profile, or invites you to her sister’s wedding for your next date—there’s nothing wrong with cutting your losses, as long as you do it [pagebreak] According to Davidson, the end of a meet-up date can be awkward, especially if you aren’t sure if you want to see her again.“One way to handle it is to say something like, ‘I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you.Find a way to explain, as nicely as you can, that you’re not feeling the need to go forward, then say goodbye.“Just say that as much as you enjoyed getting to know her, you realized you two weren’t quite the match you’d hoped,” Davidson advises.

Men aren’t the only predators hunting for their next mark or broken toys searching for someone who can “fix them.” If your date is too eager too soon, or seems a little too interested in your personal finances, or for some reason just makes the hair on your arms stand up—and not in a good way—it’s best to proceed with caution, if at all.Why don’t we both think about how we feel about another date.I’ll email (or text, or IM) you later.’ Then be sure you do it,” she says.“She’ll spend time doing her hair, applying her makeup oh-so-perfectly, choosing the right outfit—all of which is easily an hour or more out of her day.You won’t be spending the same amount of prep time, so consider that her investment has already trumped yours, and make it worth her while.” Davidson suggests that you meet somewhere that you’d take a “real” first date, not just a “check-her-out” prospect.

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