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(With advance notice and a little cajoling, of course, because we’re independent, busy people, too.)Behold: all the reasons why Jewish girls make the best wives.

Sorry to start with the obvious, but it’s got to be stated.

You have never liked shopping at this store because of its less-than-wonderful service. Usually you have to pick up your change off the counter, but today the cashier places it in your hand, and for a brief moment you feel the warmth of his or her hand on yours. For some reason, you’re feeling more warmly toward this store than before. Hope you enjoyed your meal, he says with a smile and a parting pat on the shoulder.

Today is no exception you have been waiting to pay for what seems like an eternity. Another scene: You have just finished dining at a restaurant. Watching him return to the kitchen, you suddenly feel a surge of generosity and leave a far bigger tip than you had intended. We don’t know how he does it, but he pulls in at least thirty percent more in tips than anyone else.” In each of the above incidents, both based on true stories, you have fallen prey to one of the most subtle yet powerful forces in human relations: touch.

But she’ll hire the perfect person to do just that, and your home life is organized, functional and easy.

Your Jewish wife is completely obsessed with her own family, and when she’s not at lunch with them, she's on the phone to them.

Baruch Hashem, such is the beauty of marrying within the tribe.

She’ll always champion your cause and she’ll always be right there supporting you in whatever you need.

She excels at social networking, and you are cast in a glowing light because of her.

Meaning, she’s interested in all the minutia of your day, including who you were in the elevator with, who you heard was getting married and what you had for lunch.

This may get annoying, but you can’t say she doesn’t care. By virtue of you marrying and procreating with her, you are contributing to expanding the Jewish religion.

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