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A message from a prospective mate every day may sound like a lot.

But given the extremely low probability that any given message will lead to a serious relationship, it’s not.

Among my single friends, and even in the conversations I overheard between strangers in coffee shops, women using dating sites described being “overwhelmed” and “flooded” with communication.

On the day I completed my profile, I received one message; four more appeared over the next two days.

I liked the concept of Ok Cupid’s “match percentages.” The site projects the compatibility of its users, assessing it on a scale from 1 to 100.

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That first night, after crafting what I thought was a suitably witty, cool, and interesting profile, I let the site’s algorithms work their magic.

You may also start talking to someone only to realize that you are no longer interested in getting to know them better.

It can take many exchanges to get to a real live date.

It made me feel that I was more likely to find someone with whom I actually connected—not just another pretty face.

I uploaded pictures and filled out my profile with basic demographic information—height, body type, religion, and education.




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2009 (Preview)-by Shahla Haeri How to find a hot date in Tehran - join the traffic jam - The Guardian (July 14, 2008) Valentine's Day in Iran - PBS (February 14, 2006) Valentine's Day in Iran - NPR (February 12, 2004) Travail of Sexuality and Love in Modern Iran-By Afsaneh Najmabadi Love: Modern Discourses-By Afsaneh Najmabadi Online Dating Iran’s Dating Revolution - SBS (July 5, 2016) Love, Dating and Marriage in Iran on the Web - Newsweek (June 25, 2016) Iran's regime-approved matchmaking website promotes dating with traditional values - Telegraph (May 11, 2016) Iran matchmaking site: Why is Tehran getting into the online dating business?


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