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Cohabitation has prompted plenty of soul searching over the purpose, definition and hallmarks of marriage.But we haven’t reflected enough on how cohabitation erodes religious belief. The nuns fighting the pipeline lost their case, but they aren’t giving up Episcopal churches cook thousands of lobsters.(It’s not easy to raise the price of sex.) To be sure, there are those who hew to a more orthodox path — that is, dating without sex, followed by marriage in a timely fashion. Alternative online dating sites geared specifically toward Christians often disappoint, because their underlying template is no different. [Reverend and rabbi: Removing symbols of racism isn’t enough.Just like secular Tinder or Ok Cupid, the Christian sites are guided by market-driven questions: What does he have to offer? We need policy action.] As marriage rates among Christians begin to decrease, additional change is afoot.It’s able to poke holes in the “sacred canopy” over the erotic instinct, to borrow the late Peter Berger’s term.Perhaps the increasing lack of religious affiliation among young adults is partly a consequence of widening trends in nonmarital sexual behavior among young Americans, in the wake of the expansion of pornography and other tech-enhanced sexual behaviors.

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Married people make up 68 percent of all weekly church attendees between ages 24 and 35. Baylor sociologist Jeremy Uecker, assessing longitudinal data from the Add Health study, concludes that cohabitation does not mix well with religious behavior.

But if trends in sexual norms hold, most who once claimed neutrality eventually drift toward the more permissive position.

Cheap sex, it seems, has a way of deadening religious impulses.

Social reinforcement of marriage from sources such as the workplace, the law, entertainment and the education system is fading rapidly or has collapsed completely.

The church, by which I mean institutionalized Christianity in the United States, is increasingly alone in its formal privileging of marriage and family.

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In places like the Netherlands and Germany, people can be very direct in the way they speak (rather than being over polite and saying things ‘to be nice' that they don't mean to avoid hurting someone's feelings – as is often the way in the UK).

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