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Part of me didn't believe them -- this guy knew we weren't on But then I got it, that my horrible friends were right, and he didn't feel physical with me. I wrote to him, with my email voice high in my throat, saying that maybe it wasn't going to happen, and maybe we should take a break while I went out of town. We stayed in touch by email while I was gone, for a couple of weeks. He asked me out to lunch, and we had an easy, entertaining time. I asked him if he wanted to go for a hike Thanksgiving morning, before the hordes and riff-raff arrived at my house.

He said he wanted to pursue this and for me not to throw in the towel. We had coffee in the kitchen with my son and younger brother, and then we had the most beautiful walk. Then in a feat of derring-do, I invited him to the movies that night, and kept my adorable little starfish hand on the space where the arm rest would have been, if I hadn't stealthily raised it when he went to get popcorn.

The next guy was also highly cultured, a creative venture capitalist, who was familiar with my work, and turned out to be a truly excellent conversationalist.

We had a coffee date, a long walk on the beach, a candlelit dinner, texts and emails in between, definite chemistry, and then I didn't hear from him for five days. (Of course, I mostly talked to my single friends and to Sam about Match.) They knew how brave it was of me to go on dates. This pattern repeated -- a flurry of dates, followed by radio silence on the man's part -- and made me mourn the old days, when you met someone with whom you shared interests, chemistry, a sense of humor, and you started going out.

There, I've said it: I wanted someone to text all day, and watch TV with.

I would say almost none of the women would care if they ever got laid again, even when they are in good marriages. They do it because it makes the men like them more, and feel close for a while, but mostly women love it because they get to check it off their to-do lists. Also, 91 percent of men snore loudly – badly, like very sick bears.If I wanted to go for five days without hearing from a man with whom I had chemistry and three almost perfect dates, I would repeat junior high. After a while -- OK, who am I kidding, sometimes later that day -- you went to bed with him, and then woke up together, maybe shyly, and had a morning date.Then you made plans to get together that night, or the next, or over the weekend. Now, if you have a connection with a man, he might have nice connections with two or three other women, too, and so each date and new dating level -- coffee, a walk, lunch, and then dinner -- is like being on a board game, different colored game pieces being moved along the home path in Parcheesi.Some people my age -- extreme middle-age -- train for marathons, or paddle down the Amazon, skydive, or adopt. And having realized this one long-shot dream with my grown child gave me the confidence to try something even harder: to date. The thing was, I had just done something brave, which was to write a memoir with my son, tour the East Coast together, and appear on stages before hundreds of people at a time.




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